Parenting style: Challenge in marital life

Parenting style can be one of great challenges to a marriage, I mean it. This is especially seen when the parenting style is different of each parent, and mostly when it is direct opposite to each other parenting style. This issue has been raging and comes a lot to marriage counselors. Parenting style is issue of very much of interest; this is because each parent brings in their values, their upbringing experiences and their own thinking of parenting styles. This challenge is there forever, as you have a kid who has made this dyad of husband and wife with adding of third person that stretches the marital relationship where both of them have no kind of experience before. When the husband and wife decides to have child, they feel great responsibility when it comes to the child, so choosing a parenting style or even making any parenting decision have a high level of importance. All this things are so much emotionally charged and this is a problem that cannot be put on back burner, ignored or even worked out quickly.

Parenting styleThe most important thing to be noticed is children require parenting strategies on daily basis. This parenting style issue is always on forefront much of time.

A stereotypical difference that arose between the mother and father on board is about discipline and also of maintaining authority.

In most cases mother’s are known to be more focused on emotional issues and concerned for child’s self esteem.

Whereas fathers are concerned more about discipline. However, this can be vice-versa in some couples, it has been also observed that mother is stricter and father is more lenient.

The core of challenge is underlying values and premises as the way child should be handled and what kind of parenting style and strategies might be used.

Taking an example of one of the issue in parenting style:

A value: “Children should be seen and not heard.”
This is sought of authoritative parenting style, which says when child is asked to do something, he has to do just that thing in a manner told and however he has to do it that way. Child is not supposed to verbalize anything, there is no type of response that should come other then doing what is told. No questioning or arguing or objecting or disagreeing. This is an order that must be followed.

A value: Children should be allowed to voice their feelings about what is expected of them.”
This kind of parenting style is assertive- democratic style, where the child is allowed to say if he wants to follow or not. Or at least child can express. On this practice children are allowed to voice their disagreement, objections and even can question about what is asked to do or follow.

And when one follows one and another follows another a challenge in marital life occurs. Though am not suggesting any of above value is correct or appropriate way but point is that parents need to look together at parenting style and work with them. Parenting is extremely challenging though rewarding if done together and in agreeable manner.

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  1. I think it’s helpful to be flexible in our parenting styles — we don’t need to treat every situation with our children the same. There are certain issues where an authoritative approach may make sense, and others that require more overt compassion. The key is to make sure we pay attention to how our parenting impacts our children. Then we can adjust our style as needed.
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