Viable Parenting Plan for Divorced Parents – Part I

Studies indicate that kids could be better off with two discontented parents than with divorced parents. But, the study offers no indications of the diverse divorce scenarios that are crucial in ascertaining the outcome on a child.

A harmonious divorce might hardly cause damage and its upshots totally disparate to that experienced in a bitter, discordant divorce. The chief reason is that in a rancorous divorce, each parent is generally doing his/her best in brain-washing the child to develop hostility towards the other parent. This could have a marring and negative impact on the kids and a parenting plan for divorced parents needs to be set in place to prevent matters deteriorating any further.

Parenting Plan for Divorced Parents

Explanation to the kids

Young children are like sponges soaking up all the emotional signs irrespective of whether they have been directed towards them or not. A happy parent would often translate to a happy child and a depressed, gloomy parent often unconsciously or consciously transfers these negative vibes to a child. Though it is worthwhile that an effort be made for the kid’s sake, however avoid falling into the trap of believing that kids are unaware of what is transpiring around them. Children can often sense something off-beam irrespective of whether a smile is flashed on them or not.

Parenting Plan for Divorced ParentsDue to this, the best parental plan for divorced parents should involve explanations being furnished partially if not in totality about what is occurring. In case parents fail in doing so, a child would formulate his/her explanation, erroneously engaging in self-blame for the issues in the family. This is because a child below five years of age tends to envision the world solely in relation to him or herself. Feelings of guilt could have a destructive impact on a child who is already struggling in trying to make sense of the emotional upheaval and insecurity that marital divorces could elicit. Doubt could be one of the most detrimental fears in a kid’s mind, hence never leaving any form of doubts in the kid’s mind and assuring the child of your lasting love as a parent.

Moving Out

In case it is time when one of the parents in moving out, it is important that the child should know that both the parents adore him/her in the same way and that they would continue to be active parents. The child must be aware precisely when he/she would be able to see that parent who has left the house, and regardless of how tricky it is, every endeavour must be made that set arrangements are never broken.

In you are the one left in charge of the child due to the partner moving out; avoid feeling saddened in case the child is missing that partner. Avoid trying to make the child forget that the other parent exists and at the same time steer clear from speaking foul about that parent as it would only baffle the child even more.

Although several children might not be expressive about their feelings about parental divorce yet it is important to observe them and cross-verify with teachers and friends regarding any difference in behaviour during school hours. Several kids ask lesser queries and adopt a more reserved approach, concealing their feelings of insecurity, however still require additional love and attention. Increased incidents of bedwetting, clingy behaviour or thumb-sucking are all indications of a child needing additional reassurance.

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